The Story Behind the Pee-wee as Himself Documentary
Paul Reubens never told his director that he was dying. This revelation shocked the filmmaker who had spent over a year persuading Reubens to participate in the ambitious two-part documentary titled “Pee-wee as Himself,” now streaming on HBO Max. The director conducted more than 40 hours of interviews with Reubens and was preparing for a final session when news of the actor’s death arrived.
The four-word keyphrase “Pee-wee as Himself” captures the heart of this documentary, which explores the complex life of the man behind the iconic character Pee-wee Herman. Despite the director’s close work with Reubens, the actor kept his six-year battle with cancer a secret, even as they discussed everything from his childhood to his career struggles.
Creative Control and Collaborative Challenges
Reubens was initially reluctant to let anyone else direct his story. Known for valuing creative control, he struggled to trust the filmmaker with his narrative. It took more than a year for Reubens to warm up to the idea, finally agreeing but continuing to resist at times. To capture their dynamic honestly, the director recorded their phone conversations, revealing Reubens’ playful yet defensive attitude toward the process.
“He was the most resistant interview subject I’ve ever encountered,” the director said. Yet this resistance became an important part of the portrait, showing Reubens’ discomfort with exposing himself fully. The film emerged as a collaboration, balancing Reubens’ input with the director’s editorial vision to create a truthful and nuanced portrayal—not a hit piece, nor a flattering tribute.
Exploring Reubens’ Artistic Journey and Identity
The documentary delves deeply into Reubens’ artistic formation. It traces his childhood, early improvisation days, and even his rejection from “Saturday Night Live,” all of which shaped his dedication to Pee-wee Herman. Importantly, it also addresses his sexuality openly. Reubens discusses living as a gay man, coming out, then retreating back into the closet, revealing a personal struggle many viewers may not have known.
The director, who often focuses on gay artists and unconventional creators, sought to portray Reubens with depth and honesty. “I wanted to make a portrait of an artist,” he explained, avoiding clichés typical of celebrity documentaries. He aimed to highlight Reubens’ sacrifices and the nuances behind his public persona.
Addressing Controversies and Legacy
The documentary doesn’t shy away from the darker chapters of Reubens’ life. His 1991 arrest for indecent exposure and the 2001 charge related to child pornography, which was later reduced, are examined in the film’s second part. These events had a significant impact on his career and public image.
Reubens wanted to clarify misconceptions and ensure his artistic achievements were not overshadowed by these incidents. The director noted that while the controversies were important, they were the “least interesting part of the film,” emphasizing instead the broader scope of Reubens’ life and work.
Emotional Impact and Audience Reception
“Pee-wee as Himself” premiered at a major film festival earlier this year, where audiences responded emotionally regardless of their familiarity with Pee-wee Herman. The documentary spans a wide emotional range—from joy and delight to sorrow and tragedy—mirroring the complexity of Reubens himself.
The director reflected, “Paul contains that big spectrum of feelings. I wanted the viewer to feel it, to have a lasting connection to him. When a film can affect you emotionally, it becomes unforgettable.”
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